


Not Perfect, But Better

by forgetmenotjimmy



Series: Souls Intertwined [3]
Category: Chicago Fire, House M.D.
Genre: Blood and Injury, Break Up, F/M, Fights, Gay Male Character, Grief/Mourning, Gun Violence, Presumed Dead, Season 05, Secrets, Twins, Unrequited Love, Wakes & Funerals, s5e16: Telling Her Goodbye
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-10
Updated: 2019-12-11
Packaged: 2021-03-07 17:28:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,200
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21749398
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/forgetmenotjimmy/pseuds/forgetmenotjimmy
Summary: As one brother starts sorting out his life, the other's quickly unravels leading them to clash.
Relationships: Kelly Severide/Anna Turner, Matthew Casey/Gabriela Dawson
Series: Souls Intertwined [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1544563
Comments: 22
Kudos: 44





	1. Getting A Life

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: in this AU, Chicago and Princeton are about four hours apart by car. I gave up trying to make the real distance work in the story so decided to fudge the geography instead.

Robert hadn’t had any firm ideas about what Foreman wanted to see him about, but what he definitely hadn’t anticipated was Foreman stating.

“House’s mother passed away yesterday.”

For a moment, Robert’s mind was blank before it rebooted and he managed a shrug. “Okay…”

Foreman interlinked his fingers in his boss’ pose. “I think we should go and pay our respects.”

Eyes opening even wider, Robert repeated. “You think we should go to House’s mum’s funeral?”

Foreman nodded and Robert choked back a laugh.

“I think,” Foreman continued over the sound, “that we’d regret missing the opportunity.”

Robert frowned at the odd phrasing, aware of the presence of a double entendre, if not the meaning.

“Okay.” He said again, still wondering if it wasn’t some kind of robot humor and Foreman would reveal he wasn’t actually being serious.

As he left the office, he went over the possible angles Foreman could have. It wouldn’t be good PR for the hospital, wouldn’t impress anyone in the field and House was dead…did Foreman really feel some kind of obligation to House’s memory? That was the only thing that it could possibly be but still…even Robert didn’t feel obligated and he’d been in love with the man.

When the day came and they drove down together, Robert happily argued with Foreman over the radio station.

“Driver’s choice.” Foreman grit out, changing it back to his pop channel.

“I can’t believe you’re so uncultured.” Robert hit back as he tried to switch it to the classical channel.

Foreman slapped his hand away with unnerving accuracy for someone paying that close attention to the road so Robert dropped it.

They hadn’t been invited to the church service but all were welcome at the wake so as Foreman pulled into the drive, Robert took stock of the house. It was big and stately, with white pillars and large windows. There were tall trees on all the sides, their deep green leaves contrasting the pastel colors of the painted brick and wooden tresses. Robert wondered if it was the same place House had grown up in. He knew the family had moved around a lot but he could have been a teenager there.

Robert tried to keep an eye on Foreman as they milled around, socializing with family friends and other members of the community. His stomach squirmed with guilt at the thought that Foreman had taken House’s death harder than he’d assumed. It was just like Robert to be too self-centered and self-pitying to have seen it. Mentally shaking himself, he schooled his expression to something appropriately solemn. Most of the people he spoke to knew of House’s reputation so had a mixture of sympathy for him and scorn for the reprehensible son when he explained why he was there.

“Bless your heart for coming to pay your respects.” A sweet old lady patted his arm before moving off.

Robert licked his lips nervously, guilt prickling under his skin as he turned and looked for Foreman. With a jolt, he realized that he couldn’t see him. He walked through the house but…nothing. The downstairs toilet was empty and the backyard only held the few brave enough to stand out in the cold – namely the smokers. Swallowing, Robert ventured upstairs. The décor was much the same: nice, upper-class doily-and-landscape-painting fare. He pushed tentatively into a few rooms before finding what must have been House’s old room.

There wasn’t that much difference in terms of decoration – no black walls or death metal band posters – but certain items made it easy to imagine his old boss occupying the space. An old microscope on the desk, language text books stacked haphazardly in a corner, the bookshelves overflowing with a multitude books on diverse topics. There was little dust and smelt the same as the rest of the house, but Robert just knew that House had used it at one time. Lump in his throat growing, Robert took a shaky breath in and closed his eyes. For a moment, he just breathed in the room.

Then he left and went outside to the front drive. The car was still parked there but his phone didn’t have any messages.

Where the Hell was he? Just as he was about to head back inside to check again, he heard something. Head swiveling, he caught sight of Foreman emerging from behind some bushes. Feeling really slow, he could only watch as his boss approached, face blank as ever.

Robert threw a thumb behind him. “The loo was free.”

Foreman sent him the ‘if-I-was-human-I’d-roll-my-eyes’ look and Robert managed to shake himself out of this confusion in time to catch Foreman’s elbow.

“Seriously, what the Hell?”

Foreman’s jaw twitched but he didn’t shake the hand off. Robert studied his face carefully and Foreman stared back evenly. Neither of them spoke until something compelled Robert to glance to where he’d seen Foreman come from.

The bush moved. Robert’s body jolted and he started moving towards it. He heard Foreman’s voice but didn’t bother to reply. Heart hammering in his chest, he reached the edge of the drive and peered through the foliage.

“What is it?” Foreman asked by his elbow.

Throat dry, Robert couldn’t answer.

“Chase.” Foreman tried again, concern seeping into his tone.

Blinking, Robert pulled his head back and looked down to see Foreman’s hand on his arm.

“Are you alright?” He asked.

“What were you doing?” Robert countered.

Foreman sighed lightly before pulling something out of his jacket pocket.

Robert snorted. “Seriously? You vape?”

Shifting on his feet a little, Foreman shrugged.

Shaking his head, Robert half-joked. “Stress of the job getting to you? What next? You’ll be scoffing packets of haribo between meetings?”

Now Foreman _did _roll his eyes. “So glad you approve. Danica does it and I just got into the habit.”

Robert studied him a moment before accepting the story. “Why didn’t you just tell me?”

“What scared you about this bush?” Foreman rejoined but Robert didn’t let himself be distracted.

“Why did you want to come here?”

“I told you-”

Robert folded his arms, voice hard and uncompromising. “You’re saying you respect House’s memory that much that you wanted to honor his mother, someone you’ve never met? You didn’t even _like _him.”

“You did.” Foreman surprised him by saying. “You loved him.”

Feeling out of his body, Robert choked. “What?”

Foreman lowered his voice, expression softening. “I’m worried about you.”

Robert huffed, though he gave up the hope of directing Foreman’s attention from his deduction. “I’m fine.”

“Are you though? Because I know for a fact that you haven’t dated since he died and you don’t have any hobbies aside from picking up the pieces when your brother falls apart.”

“Hey!” Robert snapped. “He’s a hero.”

“You don’t have a _life_, Robert!” Foreman rolled over his protest.

Stung, Robert hit back. “What, and you do? You basically live in the hospital, _Eric_.”

“Okay, first: my job is a lot more time-consuming that yours and second: I do things, I’m dating-”

“For how long?”

Foreman’s tone cut right through the air. “Careful, you want to be walking home?”

Jaw working as he tried to calm down, Robert over enunciated as he said.

“Do I get down sometimes? Yes? Everyone does, but since I met Matt I’ve been better than I have in years, maybe…” anger morphing into melancholy he finished, “maybe the best I’ve felt in my whole life.”

Foreman held his gaze for another long moment before holding up his hands. “Okay, I’ll back off.”

Robert nodded, wiping his lip.

“You ready to go?” Foreman asked quietly. Looking back at the house, Robert shrugged, carefully keeping his face turned away from his friend.

He pretended to sleep on the way back.

…

Whilst none of the hospitals in Chicago were interested in opening a Diagnostics Department; the medical school at Rosalind Franklin did invite Robert to run a diagnostics class. His hours were scheduled on one day a week so he could travel down the night before, stay with Matt and then drive back to Princeton after class.

The offer had required a frank discussion with Foreman about the future of the department. Robert loved the job and could see himself doing it forever, but he also felt drawn to Matt and wanted to be closer. He and Foreman agreed it was too early for him to leave as Jameson was good but still nowhere near experienced enough to carry the department and the student they’d nabbed as an intern wasn’t likely to stay after qualifying.

Foreman had considered asking Taub to come back but he was busy with his girls and didn’t have the same track record as Robert anyway. Foreman granted him permission to cut his hours down to 32 a week, leaving Fridays free to teach, with the condition he stay at PPTH for a minimum of 3 years. Grumbling that Foreman had missed his calling as a business man, Robert agreed.

Despite the huge benefit of getting to see his brother and 51 every week, Robert was nervous about the classes themselves. His only experiences of teaching were training Masters, Jameson and others as well as his memories of med school, and perhaps the most relevant, the ‘perform-or-be-mocked’ method House put everyone through. Well, thinking about it, he’d still mocked you even when you got things right. Most of those memories were fond now. Sometimes he revisited his favorites – a few hilarious jabs at Cuddy or others but also ones directed at himself. He’d often been annoyed at the time but now he felt a small glow remembering House’s voice telling someone to put lipstick on him or asking if he was wearing short shorts. Even House’s highly awkward comment that since both his parents were dead meant he wouldn’t kill another patient through negligence made him smile a little sadly.

The day of his first class he left Matt’s earlier than he needed to, arriving with enough time to find the classroom, set up, write the key points on the board and go over what he was going to say. The first hour were second years so they already knew the basics, his plan was to teach them to use observations about the patient and their profile to help narrow down possibilities and also discern between relevant and irrelevant details. He’d bought a teaching guide and text books on the subject but also had notes from some old case files and some of the weirder clinic cases – with identifying info omitted.

The students started filling in a little before the hour and Robert forced himself to relax his shoulders and smile at them. In total he had a few hundred students so didn’t bother asking their names, instead busying himself with his papers. Reminding himself that they were only students and who cared about their opinion of him, he started the lecture. He managed to get through it alright, remembering to occasionally check that people were following. The Q&A part with the real cases seemed to go well. People were reluctant to participate at first but a few bold ones got the ball rolling. Collectively, they did poorly at sorting which details were important but Robert had expected that and told them experience helped enormously.

“By the time you have real patients, you’ll be in a better position to judge this kind of thing. Though no doctor will ever have a perfect track record.”

“Not even Dr. House?” Someone asked.

Robert had expected questions about House from his colleagues but was surprised a student knew about him.

He must have taken too long to respond because she followed up. “Sorry, I know you worked with him a long time.”

Her friend glanced at her pointedly but Robert just gave himself a mental shake.

“I knew him for 10 years and as much of a genius he was, he still got things wrong. It was rare, but it happened.”

The student nodded and a man a few rows behind her put his hand up. “I heard he was a jerk.”

Robert laughed. “He was. Not many people could stand him for long.”

“Why did you stay so long?” The first student asked.

Robert considered, feeling unprepared to water down the real answer. In the end he settled for a half truth.

“The things I learned, the experience I gained was worth the abuse. I wasn’t just solving medical puzzles, I was learning how to read people, how to know when someone was lying and why. Often the reason for the lie is just as, if not more, important. House used to say that ‘everybody lies’ and he was right. Even when people are on their death beds, they hold onto their secrets, so unless you uncover what’s relevant, it could kill them. Some people might say that those people have the right to chose their privacy over their life but House disagreed. He believed that the truth, no matter how ugly or shocking, was always worth seeing; that it was vital to recognize it because the alternative was fooling yourself and the ones you love and that was always more than dangerous, it was unforgiveable.”

There was a tense silence and then Robert realized he’d gone ten minutes over. He cleared his throat. “Alright. No homework, but if you want to do further reading…”

No one in any of the other classes that day had heard of House so Robert managed to have straight forward lectures. The supervisor visited him after lunch and they chatted, Robert asking advice on how much work to give them and evaluations. He was going to be assigned a graduate assistant later in the term to help with grading papers.

Having dinner with Matt that night, he expressed cautious optimism about the whole thing.

Matt proposed a toast. “To Professor Chase!”

Robert snorted and raised his beer, breaking into laughter.


	2. Oh, Wow, Congratulations

Severide donated bone marrow to and fell in love with a pediatric nurse. Matt was being cautiously optimistic about it, aware of Severide’s track record but wanting his friend to be happy. Robert decided to reserve judgement until the 6-month mark. The brothers both met her at the same time and approved; Matt not understanding why seeing Severide’s soft looks and warm smiles made his stomach twist. Noticing this, Robert refrained from commenting. Matt was still with Dawson and wouldn’t appreciate Robert bringing it up anyway.

Used to the waiting game, Robert was a little surprised when he received a call from Matt seemingly out-of-the-blue.

Matt breathed out shakily, unsure why he was feeling jittery all of a sudden. He was only calling his brother.

“Hello?” Good, Robert didn’t sound harried or tired.

“Hi, is this a good time?” Matt asked anyway.

“Yeah, it’s fine. Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, no, it’s great in fact.” With one last big breath he announced. “We’re getting married!”

A notable pause. “Oh, wow, congratulations.”

Matt was too relieved to read into Robert’s tone.

“Yeah, we thought, we’ve been engaged for ages and we love each other so, why not? With Louie, our family is complete.”

Robert replied. “That’s great. I’m happy for you. Have you decided when yet?”

“Ah, that’s the thing. We’re doing it tomorrow.”

Robert’s voice was sharper as he asked. “What?”

Matt swallowed. “Yeah, I’m sorry that’s not enough notice, but we’re probably going to have a separate reception so you’ll have time to think of an embarrassing speech.”

Robert was silent a moment, Matt’s stomach twisting.

Finally, Robert asked quietly. “Is that what you want?”

Matt frowned. “Of course, why wouldn’t it be?”

Robert replied bluntly. “Would you be eloping if Gabby didn’t want to adopt Louie?”

Matt almost hung up, the urge shooting down his arm and making his thumb quiver with the tension.

“That is _not _why we’re doing this.” He ground out with difficulty.

Robert sighed. “No, that’s not why _you’re _doing it.”

“Just because you and Gabby don’t get on-”

“It’s more than that!” Robert interrupted, voice rising a little. “Every time Gabby wants something, you roll over and give it to her.”

“That is _not _true. We talk things through.”

“Yeah, you talk and how often does she actually listen? How often does she run off and do what she wants? Your needs be damned.”

Shaking his head, Matt snapped. “I wanted to foster Louie too!”

“And she cut you out anyway! Whenever you express the slightest doubt she pushes you away until you have to grovel-”

“Why am I listening to you?” Matt erupted, forgetting to keep his voice down. “Just because _your _marriage failed doesn’t mean no one else can do it!”

Robert snorted. “_You_ called _me_, Matt. A bit hypocritical to go criticizing my relationship advice.”

Movement caught Matt’s eye and Gabby’s pained expression distracted him. They held each other’s gaze and his mind cleared.

“I love Gabby and tomorrow we’re getting married. I hope you can be happy for us.”

Robert huffed a sad laugh. “When she runs again, I’ll be here.”

Then he hung up. Matt pulled the phone away from his ear and let out a long breath, suddenly exhausted.

“I told you not to do it.” Gabby came up, hand sliding over his chest affectionately.

“He’s my brother.”

“He doesn’t like me and he’s never supported you.”

Matt bit his tongue, not wanting to bring up the times Robert had held him as he’d cried over Andy, over Hallie.

“Plus, you were right. He’s a divorcee that tries to sleep with anything that moves. What does he know about relationships?”

Matt opened his mouth to defend Robert, then shut it again. Guilt rushed in; he knew better than Gabby what had gone on in Robert’s marriage and how it mostly hadn’t been his fault. He’d apologize later once the dust settled.

“Come on.” Gabby said sleepily. “Let’s get some shut eye before the big day.”

Matt began to nod but he still felt jittery.

“Gabby?” He asked. “Do you want more children?”

She laughed. “Maybe let’s focus on the one we have right now.”

She took Matt’s hand, pulling on it playfully as she tried to lead them back to bed, but Matt wouldn’t budge. “I know but do you think later, you’ll want more?”

She smiled gently. “Yeah, I think so.” She gave up pulling and slunk back up to him, hand resting just below his throat, smile turning sultry.

“When Louie’s a little older, we can try again; give him a little brother or sister.” She pressed a kiss to the corner of Matt’s mouth but he didn’t feel it.

“You mean, get pregnant again?”

She pulled back slightly, breathing against his skin. “Yeah.”

He felt cold. “No.”

She stilled. “What?”

Her tone sent his hairs on their ends. Throat dry, he rasped. “I can’t sit in that waiting room again. Wondering if this time they’ll tell me I’ve lost _both_ of you.”

Looking him in the eye, she said firmly. “You won’t.”

Huffing, he shook his head and stepped back. “You heard what the doctor said.”

“The risk isn’t that high-”

“Gabby!”

“Matt!” She snapped. “It’s _my body_. It’s my decision.”

Matt stilled, staring at her set expression. With a sinking feeling, he realized what came next. She was going to leave. If he said one more word she’d turn and leave him in the dark as to where they stood. She’d avoid him and act like she didn’t care and one day she might deign to let him apologize and admit she’d been right. He knew it and she knew it.

Goddammit.

“You’re right. It’s your decision.” He said finally.

She relaxed and a small part of him smirked as he continued. “I’m done.”

She frowned, she questioned him, she followed him around as he packed a night bag; her voice grew sharper the longer he refused to engage.

“You can stay until Louie’s paperwork comes through, then you can take over the lease or find a new place.”

“Now you’re kicking us out?” She bit out incredulously. “This isn’t you. This is your brother talking. Whatever he said to you isn’t true.” She stood in his path, voice cracking a little. “Matt, please.”

He stopped and swallowed down the lump in his throat. He could never stand to see her cry.

“I can’t give you what you want-”

“If not for me, then for Louie.”

He closed his eyes. Her voice moved closer. “Please, Matt. He needs his father.”

Forcing himself to look at her, he murmured. “All he needs is you.”

Then he stepped around her and left.

He drove around for a while before telling himself off for wasting gas. He pulled over and turned the engine off. Sitting in his truck, he realized to his shame that he didn’t have anywhere to go. Severide was with Anna and he was on shift the next day, he couldn’t drive out to Princeton even if he hadn’t just taken a cheap shot at his brother. His brother who’d only been trying to help him; who was right. Gulping, he texted.

_>I’m sorry. You were right._

He sighed and leant his head against the headrest, weighing up calling someone or going to a hotel. The house would find out anyway but he really didn’t want to go cap in hand to anyone in the middle of the night. Robert rang him. He answered reluctantly.

“Hi.” Robert sounded sympathetic.

“I’m sorry.” Matt blinked, hard. “I was being a jerk and a wrong jerk.”

“Eh, I forgive you as long as I get to bring up this less-than perfect moment whenever we argue.”

Matt laughed weakly and Robert went on. “As much as I think it’s the right move, it still sucks. You got somewhere to stay?”

Matt sighed. “Still deciding who to wake up and beg for a spare room.”

“Kelly not answering?”

“Oh, uh, I…”

Robert interrupted Matt’s pitiful fumbling. “Matt. Call him.”

“He’s with Anna, I couldn’t…”

“So? You know he’ll be offended if you don’t. Look, you won’t even have to ask. Just tell him what happened and he’ll offer.”

“Okay.” Matt agreed tiredly.

“You’re on shift tomorrow, right?”

Matt hummed.

“Text me when you get a chance, okay? I’ll worry if you don’t.”

Matt sighed and agreed again. They said goodbye and Matt stared at his phone for a long moment before steeling himself. He rang before he could talk himself out of it.

Kelly’s phone rang so many times that Matt was surprised when Kelly answered sleepily. “Casey? What’s up?”

“Uh, hi. Sorry, I woke you.” Matt replied numbly.

“Casey?” Severide sounded more awake, alarm creeping into his tone. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah, I mean, no. I uh… me and Gabby split.”

“Oh.” Severide sounded surprised. “Shit, sorry man.”

“Yeah.” Matt managed, grip tightening on the phone as he tried to reveal that he was sitting in his truck with a night bag beside him.

“You want to go get a drink?”

“Uh, no thanks, we’re on shift tomorrow.”

“Wouldn’t be the first time we’ve been a little worse for wear.” Severide commented.

Matt forced a chuckle even as his stomach twisted.

“Well, you can come hang out anytime, you know that.”

Matt couldn’t speak, feeling like an idiot. There he was, the wrong side of thirty, two broken engagements, no place to live, too blind to see how he’d screwed up his relationship with one of the best people he knew. Maybe if he’d been firmer, more resilient in the beginning, he and Gabby could have found a balance.

“Casey?” Severide asked.

Matt swallowed and realized his cheeks were wet. Holding the phone to his chest, he wiped his face and sniffed, trying to get ahold of himself. A police car sped past, urgent siren blaring through the stillness of the street.

As he put the phone back to his ear, he heard Kelly’s voice had regained some concern. “Matt? Where are you?”

“Uh, I don’t know.”

Kelly demanded incredulously. “She kicked you out of your own apartment?”

“She’s got Louie.” Matt explained dully.

Kelly let out a huff before ordering. “Come over, you’re staying with us.”

Matt tried to refuse but Kelly wouldn’t take no for an answer. “If you’re not here in thirty, I’m coming to get you.”

Matt laughed wetly. “Okay, I’m coming.”

Kelly had a hug for him when he opened the door; almost undoing all the work Matt had done boxing up his hurt on the drive over. Kelly’s hand on the back of his head tipped him over and he sobbed. For a while, Matt let go of everything else, just clinging to Kelly and his warm embrace.

…

It shouldn’t have been surprising when she called him. In retrospect, the shock was more for long it had taken her to do it. Robert answered his phone professionally, with half a suspicion it was telemarketers, which only made Gabriela Dawson scoff.

“What did you say to him?”

Robert suppressed a groan. This was why he usually stayed out of other people’s business – but even still, he couldn’t regret helping his brother out of a toxic relationship.

“Matt’s a big boy, he can make his own decisions.”

Her reply was fast and furious. “Except this isn’t like him. You turned him against me; fed him some crap because you want him to be as alone and miserable as you are.”

Matt had sent sporadic texts over the previous week, just enough to paint Robert a picture of how the break up and division of things was going. Dawson’s call was coming across a bit pathetic in the wake of Matt successfully resisting her attempts to reconcile. Robert felt a pang of grief as he remembered the glee in House’s eyes as he ripped apart a stupid rationale or idiot’s world view.

“No see, me and Matt have a healthy relationship where we talk about our problems and actually listen to each other.”

“I listen to Matt-”

“But you don’t respect his opinion. You don’t take his feelings, his needs into account.”

“That’s not true!”

“Oh yeah, what was the last mutual decision you made where you had to sacrifice something?”

A pause, then an angry retort. “I don’t have to answer to you! You shouldn’t even _be _involved in my relationship!”

“You called me, Dawson.” He sighed, déjà vu tickling between his ribs.

She hung up and Robert amused himself with the mental image of her frustrated pout. He willed his brother to stay strong. The most indulgence he allowed himself was a text to Severide.

_Don’t let him go back._

Severide hadn’t responded but hopefully he’d taken the plea on board.

The drama wasn’t done with him though, as a few days later he had a visitor waiting for him in his office.

Park noticed him first. “He looks pissed.”

Robert turned and cursed. He went in.

“Detective Dawson.”

The detective stopped in his pacing. “What the Hell, doc? Why are you messing with my sister?”

“Is that what she told you?”

“Where do you get off-”

Not in the mood to be yelled at, Robert raised his voice. “I gave my brother some advice, what he did with it is his business.”

“He’s not the one who yelled down the phone at my sister.”

Robert scoffed, which just made Antonio’s expression harden. Robert jumped in though, determined to say his piece before a fist swung at him.

“Look, you don’t know me but you know your sister. You really think she’d be upset by getting into an argument with some guy? That’s not why she’s angry.”

“She loves Matt-”

“She does, but she’s too used to doing things on her own, powering ahead and not letting anyone stand in her way. I won’t let her trample over my brother.”

Dawson set his jaw but his eyes were thoughtful. Finally, he sighed, tension bleeding out of him.

“I’m just worried about her; she’s been pining over Casey for years and I thought they’d finally get to be happy.”

Robert nodded sympathetically, though pointedly did not say anything.

Dawson blew out a breath. “Sorry, man.”

Robert tilted his head. “It’s fine, you’re just looking out for your sister.”

They shook hands and Dawson laughed. “It’s freaky: how much you look like him.”

Used to it, Robert just smiled back and watched the detective march out. Letting out a long breath, he got out some paperwork.

Alex poked their head in. “Everything alright?”

“Yeah, just a misunderstanding.”

Park joined them. “You slept with his sister?”

“No, but my brother did.”

“I knew I recognized him!” Park exclaimed. “That’s Gabby’s brother!”

Robert shook his head. “I still can’t believe you stalk my brother.”

“Follow.” Alex interjected.

Robert ignored them. “Well, spoiler alert but they just broke up.”

Park pouted. “Oh no, but they were so cute together!”

Alex read Robert’s expression and frowned. “You wanted them to break up?”

Cursing his perceptive and nosy staff, Robert tried. “Why don’t we table this for another time? You both still have to finish the case report.”

Luckily Park took the hint but complained as she began to leave. “How is your life so much more interesting than mine?”

“Thanks.” Robert muttered insincerely.

“Okay, you are so telling us all the gossip tomorrow.” Alex warned.

Robert nodded and sighed. He was still concerned about Matt but knew it would be pointless to drive over. He’d only be underfoot and hurt Matt’s pride. He could still message him though.

_>Why are you facebook friends with my employees again?_ He asked cheekily.

Matt texted back a few minutes later.

_>They asked. You don’t mind, do you?_

Robert considered.

_>No, just know that they have no boundaries. You come to visit and they’ll be all in your business_.

_>I don’t mind Chi and Alex_.

_>You don’t have to work with them. They seem harmless but can rip into me when they want to_.

_>Good for them_.

Robert sent back a sarcastic face and Matt retaliated with an innocent smiley face. Robert laughed. Matt wasn’t really a texting kind of guy but he’d learned a certain amount of emojis since they’d started messaging regularly. He was almost proud of him.

Then he really was proud when Matt followed up with: _I’m at the bar with Sev_.

Robert sent back a thumbs up emoji.

_>Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do_.

_>Which would be?_

Cheeky bastard.

_>Shuddup and have fun_.

Matt sent another smiley back and Robert’s own lips curled up.

So Severide had stepped up, good. Robert felt a little jealous that Matt had such a close friend. For all his faults, Severide came through when needed. Foreman was the closest Robert had and…he paused.

Over the years they’d hated each other less, sometimes even confiding in each other when there hadn’t been anyone else; their working relationship was amicable even though Foreman did enjoy having power over him a little too much. Maybe they were friends.

Maybe he should ask Foreman out for a drink sometime, see if they couldn’t get any closer.


	3. Brothers and Sisters In Arms

Louie’s father came out of the woodwork and claimed full custody. Dawson fought it but ultimately decided it was for the best to let him go. Matt had missed the little boy almost as much as his relationship with Gabby, so his heart went out to her. He expressed how sorry he was but she turned away, not accepting it.

A week later, she was giving notice and leaving Chicago. They threw her a going away party and Matt overheard her telling Stella she was heading for Mills’ new town. Gritting his jaw, he rejoined Capp, Tony and Mouch. The talk turned to Severide and Anna, who were holding court in one of the booths; Otis and Cruz were cracking up, Brett hi-fiving Anna as Severide looked on proudly.

Matt swiveled so he was facing away and didn’t offer much to the speculation if the couple would last. Anna had been so gracious about accepting him in, offering sympathy and understanding. He felt horrible at the resentment that was festering inside him. What kind of person would be anything less than ecstatic his best friend was happy and fulfilled in a healthy relationship? Severide hadn’t resented _his _relationship with Gabby.

After two weeks Matt had cracked and confessed everything to Robert. Far from surprised, Robert had bluntly revealed he knew that he and Severide had some shared history, or at least, past feelings. As per tradition, he drove over, brought liquor and they’d gotten smashed. Robert’s knowing and empathetic expression blurred as Matt told him everything: his embarrassing crush on Severide when they’d first met, the three separate occasions they’d slept together until Severide had pointedly and without explanation pulled away.

As far as Matt knew, Severide hadn’t been with any other man since and didn’t plan to be.

“Must have been experimenting.” He slurred, head resting on the back of the couch. He’d given up on keeping his pride so hardly blinked when Robert handed him a tissue.

Wiping his face, he listened miserably to Robert ask.

“What was it to you?”

Matt looked down at the used tissue clenched in his fist. “I don’t know.”

“Yes, you do.” Robert insisted gently.

Matt sobbed and fell gratefully into Robert’s chest. “I loved him. I was…am _so stupid_.”

Robert sighed. “No you’re not. Severide is your friend and you trust each other with your lives, it’s perfectly sane.” Voice wobbling, he went on. “House didn’t even like me that much.”

Matt sniffed and choked out. “He _did_. You didn’t see his face when you got stabbed.”

“Okay, he cared a little I guess…but we hardly spent any time together outside of work. He never chose to spend time with me.”

Matt pulled away, tone earnest. “Because he already saw you every day and this isn’t the same. He and Severide aren’t the same.”

Robert sniffed and choked a laugh as Matt pulled him in for another hug. “Look at us.”

Mart snorted and then his body tensed.

Robert tensed too. “What?”

Matt sort of hummed and shifted.

Robert felt something rubbing the top of his head and had an awful thought. “Did you get snot in my hair?”

“No!” Matt protested, not quite convincingly.

Robert reared back. “Ew! You’re disgusting!”

Matt laughed at his brother’s dramatic flailing and they both ended up wheezing, wiping their faces and hair. Not for the first time they ended up sleeping in the same bed, knowing each other well enough that they didn’t have to promise to be there for each other. They already knew it.

…

Anderson happened and then a crazed conspiracy theorist went after Matt. Robert joked not quite seriously about cancelling Maddy’s visit if Matt was going to ruin it with his insane job-related incidents.

“I make no promises.” Matt responded, just as far away from joking as Robert.

Maddy arrived in a whirlwind of energy, oohing and awing at everything and giggling at people’s accents ‘just like the movies!’ Robert took her out for dinner until she started to droop and needed to sleep off the jet lag. She was still groggy the next morning but gamely went sightseeing and then met the team at the hospital. It was surreal for Robert to see his little sister chatting to his rival-turned-boss, walking around his office curiously, examining the knickknacks. Most of them were House’s old things no one else had wanted. Something must have shown on his face because she didn’t say anything, just squeezed his hand.

That evening, they went out for drinks – all non-alcoholic. Before she’d flown in Robert had casually mentioned Maddy didn’t drink and unsubtly hinted that everyone else should do the same, so they all had excuses when Maddy noticed this. She gave Robert a look but didn’t comment. They were all chatting happily, Maddy eating up all of their unflattering stories about Robert as well as telling them a few of the funnier ones from their childhood. Taub and Foreman chuckled at the falling-off-Sandy Jensen’s-roof gaff; Jameson and Park rolled their eyes at the teen boy stupidity.

“I _told _you not to!” Maddy insisted laughingly.

Robert shrugged, heart fit to bursting as he looked around at the group and his sister getting on.

“See, if only you listened to us, you could avoid getting into trouble.” Taub joked.

“Yeah!” Park interjected and glancing at her tipsy face, Robert suddenly felt the hairs on the back of his neck raise. “You wouldn’t have been stabbed if you’d accepted that I was right!”

“What?” Maddy frowned. “You were-”

“It wasn’t anything worth worrying about.” Robert tried.

Taub cleared his throat and everyone apart from Jameson and Maddy looked awkward.

Maddy’s expression hardened. “Robert.”

For a terrifying moment she sounded exactly like his mother.

Conceding defeat, he explained as briefly as possible.

“Speak English!” Maddy didn’t let him finish. “What’s all that you just said?”

Robert mumbled his reply but Maddy still half-yelled. “You got stabbed in the heart?”

He did his best to reassure her that he was fine now but her eyes filled with tears. “Why didn’t you call me?”

Highly uncomfortable, Robert snapped. “I didn’t think you’d pick up.”

She stared at him sadly for a long moment. “You’re just like dad.”

He could only watch agape as she excused herself from the table.

“Mads…”

Jameson got up. “I’ll keep an eye on her.” Then they followed Maddy to the bathroom.

“Oops.” Park broke the tense silence in her typical manner.

Robert cut her a glare but Foreman tempered. “She probably would have found out sooner or later.”

Skin itching, Robert muttered ‘I need some air’ and left out the front. It wasn’t that cold out but he crossed his arms over his chest. Maddy was just being overdramatic as usual. He wasn’t anything like the sociopath who’d abandoned them as children. You couldn’t even compare the situations anyway; he’d fully recovered and Maddy had been none the wiser. Even if he had called it wasn’t like she could have done anything but worry. The only thing he would have done would have been to hurt her.

He froze. Had _that _been his father’s justification for not telling him? It had been a terminal diagnosis, there hadn’t been anything to do but wait. No, he could have visited, had real conversations; healed so many wounds. Not telling him had robbed Robert of the chance to get closure, for his father to apologize properly, to own his mistakes.

Robert’s eyes began to sting. Maddy was right – not contacting her had been easier for _him_, but had taken away her choice. They could have reconciled sooner, maybe he could have helped her sober up, she could have visited before. Feeling a little sick, he headed back inside. One look over to the table confirmed Jameson had returned but not Maddy.

“Robbie.” She startled him, coming up from his side. “Can we talk?”

He nodded and then retrieved his coat from the table. Waving off Park’s half-hearted apology, he hurried back to Maddy.

As he drove them back to the apartment, he started. “You’re right. I was being like dad.”

“It’s not the same-”

“Close enough. I was just so used to going it alone, I didn’t even consider it. I’m sorry.”

“I wish you had but I understand why you didn’t. There’s plenty I haven’t told you.”

He risked a glance over at her. She patted his arm. “Nothing on your level, bro. Don’t worry.”

Forcing his shoulders down, he let out a long breath. “Okay, if anything happens again – to either of us – we call each other. Deal?”

“Deal.” Maddy agreed readily, smiling a little. “I bet Matt isn’t this bad with self-care.”

Robert laughed so hard that he had to pullover.

They drove down to Chicago a few days later, Matt welcoming them warmly and only slightly taken aback by Maddy’s opener.

“How many times have you been stabbed?”

Robert sighed and explained. Matt blinked and replied. “Oh, uh, never actually.”

“Been hit over the head a few times.” Robert mumbled.

“But never stabbed. Touch wood.” Maddy said sunnily, rapping her knuckles against Robert’s head.

He just as childishly stuck his tongue out and Matt watched them, a little shiny-eyed. Seeing this prompted Robert to ask after Christie. She was well, a little wary of meeting her somewhat-related sister but had agreed to take them out for drinks that evening, ‘since Matt only know sports bars’. Matt had tried to protest that he was more sophisticated than that but no one had listened. They went to somewhere fancy and the women found the common ground of terrible exes, fashion and Pilates.

“They could not be more stereotypical if they tried.” Robert remarked to Matt not lowly enough as Maddy waved a middle finger at him without even turning around.

Robert barked a laugh as Christie and Matt exchanged a surprised look.

“Love you too, sis!” Robert called over and Maddy blew him the most sarcastic kiss Matt had ever seen, causing Christie to giggle.

“So signs of affection are different Down Under.” Matt commented and Robert nodded, smile lingering. “How is it between you two?”

“Not perfect, but better.” Robert reported. “I just hope it lasts.”

“You’re both different people now.” Matt reassured.

Robert twisted his lip but didn’t argue, instead glancing over at the sisters.

“You’ve got us now.” Matt added.

Robert smiled, then joked. “I would say vice versa but I’m not sure how useful that is to you.”

“Well…” Matt teased, making Robert shove him lightly.

The next day Matt was on shift so the Aussies visited the firehouse. Maddy was a great guest, asking lots of questions, chatting with the truck guys. They were interested in her too, asking about life in Australia. Robert tried to keep an eye on her but after a while saw she was holding her own. Christie came by to take her out to lunch with Violet, Robert turning down the offer by joking he needed a break from Maddy. Squad and the Ambo got a call so Robert chatted with Hermann and Otis about installing a piano at Molly’s whilst Matt was doing inventory with Kidd.

Suddenly, they heard shouting from the apparatus floor. Robert joined the others investigating and his heart stopped as he saw someone holding a gun to his brother’s head.

…

Matt kept his breathing calm, forcing himself to listen to everything being said and keep an eye on everyone’s position. He bit his tongue when Robert offered to look at the wounded gang member; trusting his brother to keep his head down. Watching everyone be shepherded into seats by the armed shepherds, he realized that Kidd was missing. Just before the invasion she’d gone to the turnout room. She must have managed to evade the one looking for stragglers. Matt willed her to escape and radio for help. As he sat in the break room, surrounded by his people and the civilian staff, he knew all he could do for the moment was to stay strong for them. Inside, his mind was turning over and over the question: what was happening with Robert?

After what seemed like hours, the outer doors began to screech open and Matt’s insides disappeared. Severide and Brett and everyone else, they didn’t know. Before he could think, he was up and running, pushing past the nearest gunman and out to the apparatus floor. The squad rig was halfway across the drive when Matt reached the controls. He waved manically with one hand, the other closing the doors again, and could just make out Tony and Severide in the front as the rig braked.

Without warning, his right shoulder exploded in pain and he collapsed to the ground. Blinking as he regained consciousness he heard shouting. He grunted as he shifted. The bullet had only seemed to have grazed him; there was blood but he could feel the wound was only in the muscle. Someone pulled him up and he was half-dragged back to inside. He made out Kidd being manhandled too, her face a riot of color.

“Lieutenant!” She wheezed before they were quietened and he knew then that she’d saved his life.

Robert had just finished wrapping the wounded gang member’s wound when they heard a gunshot from somewhere in the building. JB gasped and went to the door. Robert glanced at the jump bag; if he could fill a syringe with Diazepam, he could distract JB and inject him. He quickly resumed his task as the kid paced, mind racing. There were still three others to deal with and they might retaliate. Could he convince them that he’d fainted at the sight of the blood? Anxiety gnawed at his nerves. What was happening outside? An accident? An uprising? The cavalry?

He put his hand in the bag but the doors banged open. Matt and Kidd were marched in: Matt clutching a bloody shoulder, Kidd bleeding from a cut on her forehead, the rest of her face swelling.

“What the Hell-?”

“What’s wrong with him?” The more unhinged of the two guys demanded, interrupting Robert’s question.

“We need to secure his airway. Are you alright?” Robert answered smoothly.

Matt nodded, jaw tight and Kidd grimaced. They were made to sit down as the crazy one interrogated Robert about what he was going to do. He was barely listening, his brother’s blood drawing his eye no matter how hard he tried to turn away. The sensible gang member left and

Robert caught Matt’s eye as he replied. “I need someone to help me. My brother can go-”

“Oh no, you don’t!” The crazed man stepped up so close to Robert he could smell his breath. The gun was pressed against his cheek, cold and terrifying. “I see your game. Kid, you go.”

“Alright,” JB responded quickly, “who do you need?”

“Dun matter! Just get somebody!”

As crazy was shouting, body turning away, Robert pocketed the vial and a syringe. Matt saw him though he had enough sense not to look directly at his hands. His head shook from side to side ever so slightly but Robert’s eyes widened insistently. Face set, Matt glanced at Kidd who was tending his wound. He opened his mouth and Robert made a show of checking the wounded man’s vitals to cover up the whisper. JB left the room and Robert filled the syringe.

The guy noticed. “Was that?”

“Some more painkiller. This is not a nice procedure.”

The guy’s brow furrowed, gun lifting again. “You-”

“In here!” Kidd stage whispered, eyes fixed on the hallway to the locker room, Matt joining her.

“We’re in here!”

The gunman followed their gaze, arm throw out wide, aiming the gun, leaving Robert free to plunge the needle into his neck and push down. He snarled, shoving Robert to the floor as his free hand scrabbled to dislodge the needle. Robert got to his feet, keeping his eyes on him even as he reached for another syringe from the bag. The gangster finally pulled the needle from his neck and with a cry, pistol-whipped Robert across the face.

Gasping, Robert heard shouts but when he looked around the drug finally hit the guy and he sagged. Kidd crept around to catch his head before it hit the floor, Robert took his gun and Matt ran to the door.

“Hurry, put him under my bed.” Matt instructed, reluctantly accepting the gun from Robert.

He emptied the clip and checked the barrel as quickly as he could with his right arm on fire. Kidd and Robert heaved the limp body to Matt’s office as Matt saw JB jogging up. Clutching the gun uncomfortably in his left hand, Matt held back a scream as he waved at the others to get down. JB burst through the doors and Matt pointed the gun to his head, guts churning.

“Drop it!” He growled.

JB gasped and his hands shot up.

“Gun on the ground.” Matt ordered.

JB crouched down and put it on the floor. The sensible gang member saw, clutching Otis in front of him and shouted. Kidd appeared out of nowhere and shoved JB out of the way as she blocked the doors with her body. Robert scooped up JB’s gun and ushered him into Matt’s office, barricading the door from the outside. The other gangster had grabbed Otis, threatening to blow off his head if they didn’t open the door.

“Leave before the cops come!” Matt yelled back. “It’s over! We’ve got two guns and three hostages of our own!”

The leader appeared with Boden gripped in one fist, gun in the other. “Drop them, now!”

“You have less than two minutes before the cops surround this place.” Boden informed them urgently.

The sensible one glanced at the leader and he conceded with a grimace. “Ok, show us the back.”

They dragged Boden and Otis with them as Matt realized that his hands were staring to shake. He watched until they were out of sight before he dropped the gun. Exchanging a stunned look with Kidd, he felt his body dropping as the adrenaline left him.

“Lieutenant, you should let me wrap that.”

Looking down was a bad idea as his head swam and he swayed. Kidd was there, helping him sit down. Robert was tending the gang member but his eyes kept flicking over to Matt and Kidd.

“You saved my life.” Matt murmured, breath hitching as Kidd pressed down.

“Well, I’ve got used to you, boss. Don’t want to have to break anyone else in.”

“It’d probably be Herrmann.” Matt replied weakly.

Kidd snorted. “Even worse.”

Matt smiled tiredly and couldn’t even protest when Kidd gently pushed him to lie down. Robert came up and after quickly assessing Matt, insisted on dressing Kidd’s head wound.

“Thank you.” He said sincerely.

“No problem.” She replied easily.

The SWAT team interrupted anything else they might have said. They quickly took the two remaining gang members away and an ambulance crew took the wounded one to hospital. Through all of the rush of people and questions, Robert’s cheek throbbed but he waved off Brett’s worried hands. He managed to squeeze her wrist reassuringly, not wanting to risk moving any facial muscles. That plan was ruined when he saw Severide fussing over Matt. Brett looked confused at his raised eyebrows and he shook his head, not wanting to open that can of worms.

After the police had finished questioning everyone, Robert drove Matt home where they met up with their sisters and endured another round of questioning. By unspoken agreement, the brothers downplayed the danger and their respective injuries. No doubt the whole version of events would find its way to their ears sooner or later – especially in light of the stabbing incident Robert knew he’d have to tell Maddy anyway – but then he was too exhausted. Thankfully, she accepted his request to tell her later and they crashed in Matt’s spare bed, holding each other like they hadn’t since they’d been children.

Matt woke up abruptly, pulled from a nightmare. Gasping, he clutched his shoulder, wincing at the sting. It took a few minutes to calm his breathing and relax enough to detach his hand. He got up stiffly and yawning, passed into the kitchen. Maddy was sitting at the table, staring into the mug in front of her. Her shoulders were slumped, eyes red. She looked up as he came in and after blinking, huffed a sad laugh.

“Matt.” She greeted and he attempted a smile. “How’s the shoulder?”

“Still got it.” He replied flippantly. “How’re you holding up?”

She snorted. “No one held me at gunpoint.”

He started a pot of coffee. “Doesn’t mean you can’t be worried or scared.”

Maddy let out a shaky breath. “It’s that obvious?”

He shrugged with his good shoulder and she nodded slowly. “It was bad enough hearing about him being stabbed, but seeing someone had hurt him…”

“I’m fine.” Robert spoke from the doorway.

Matt winced at the large, dark bruise across his cheek and then almost stopped breathing as images from his nightmare came back to him. Robert and Maddy were talking but he didn’t hear them. Inside him, rage surged up like a tidal wave.

“Rob.” He bit out. “Can I talk to you outside?”

Obviously reading his mood, Robert froze before nodding.

“Yeah sure, be back in a sec.” He told Maddy, following Matt to the yard.

“What the Hell were you thinking?” Matt demanded almost as soon as the door swung shut. “You could have gotten everyone killed!”

“They’d already shot you and beat up Stella, I wasn’t prepared to sit around and-”

“They had guns to our heads and hostages, _civilian hostages!_”

“It all worked out okay-”

“You were reckless and you put everyone in danger-”

“Oh and _you _didn’t? Running outside like a crazy person!”

Matt shook his head and snapped. “That is not the same. They needed to be told.”

Robert barked a sharp laugh and snarled. “Of course it fucking isn’t!”

Matt ignored him and continued loudly. “I acted to save them from becoming hostages too.”

“And _I _acted to save you from being shot _again _by the psychotic man with a gun!”

“You got lucky-”

“Stop being such a fucking hypocrite! I did nothing that you wouldn’t have done.”

“You think so?” Matt crossed his arms.

Robert bit back. “I know so.”

“You don’t know anything.”

“I know that they’d_ shot_ you!”

A sharp whistle interrupted them. They turned to see Christie and Maddy at the door; Christie looking worried, Maddy disapproving.

Robert huffed and waved an arm. “Forget this! Think what you like, I don’t care.”

He stalked around the side of the house and slammed into his car. Maddy joined him a few minutes later and although shot him a dirty look, didn’t say anything as they drove him away.

Robert reluctantly told Maddy everything that had happened, enduring her shouting and smacks to his warm with a weary acceptance. When she’d calmed down, she asked when he was planning to apologize to Matt.

He scoffed. “When _he _apologizes to _me_!”

Maddy had berated him for that idiocy but didn’t make any headway. Her trip ended sourly, with her reminding him not to push away the little family he had left. Deep down he knew that she was right, but his anger and hurt was still too great for him to admit it.

She kissed his unbruised cheek at the airport. “See you soon, brother.”

“Yeah, see you soon.” He promised and watched her melt into the crowd.

…

A few weeks later and Matt received a knock in his door. He still hadn’t reconciled with Robert and his anger was beginning to fade into worry. Long, sleepless nights had eroded his stubbornness until he’d resolved to call him soon. He opened the door and blinked in shock. Underneath the straggly beard, worn and slightly stinking clothes, the man in front of him was unmistakably-

“Doctor House…”

“Hello.” The doctor croaked and Matt could only stare at him stupidly. “Can I come in?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dun, dun duuuuuuun! So I made the mistake of watching 'Knives Out' and am now obsessed with that masterpiece of a film. In other words am taking a break from Chicago Fire for a little while, will probably be back in the new year to work on all my current series. No worries, part 4 of this is already planned, taking us up to the beginning of season 8 of Chicago Fire, so this story is far from over.  
Thanks so much for reading and happy holidays!  
:D


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